"Danger" Will Robinson

At the bequest of my good friends, I now set forth to proclaim and otherwise set down my feelings regarding an individual to remain nameless in order that I might retain some quiet to my mind. In other words, I'm writing about a guy that is annoying me so I can feel better about the whole situation.

So there's this guy, what say we call him "Danger," and he has made it outstandingly clear to me that he likes me. He has told me in as many words and more. The problem is that these desirable outbursts of his only occur about once a week and usually of an evening after a dance. This is inconvenient because the rest of the time he is over at my apartment, cuddling with my roommates at least as much as with me, or randomly leaving with my roommate (a specific one) to run some random errand. He has told me that his feelings for me are very different from those he has for my roommates. The things is that aside from holding my hand I would be hard-pressed to tell the difference between his relationship with me and with my roommates.

[I just pared out a moment that I decided not to add but which makes the rest of the message less sensical without it. Just recognize that I have possibly been sending mixed messages, too.]

So, admittedly, we're both making blunders. It's really quite annoying, but that's how these things go... I think.

It's just so hard with him because I love doing so many of the things that he loves to do. It would be very inconvenient (to put it mildly) for me to separate myself from him even though he's being somewhat inconsistent. The worst part is that he doesn't fully comprehend my reassurance and jealousy issues. (This is my assumption.)

One of my roommates and I are planning a double date with two new guys this Friday (1) because I need to get out, (2) because she really likes the guy she's asking, and (3) because this could be a shock to "Danger's" system to help him to make a decent decision regarding how he feels about me (and what he's going to do about it).

Hey, guys? You, the friends who encouraged me to write. Something went wrong because I don't feel any better. I just want to spend time with him, for him to prefer my company a little bit. We'll see what happens tomorrow, or today, even. What else can a body do?

Sometimes I just want to scream.

Memorial Day

This evening my parents and I took flowers to my grandpa's grave. He was a WWII veteran who flew B-26 bombers for the army. It was only about a year and a half ago that he passed away.

While we were at the cemetery, other groups passed nearby, decorating the graves of family members that had died. One couple was visiting a father that they lost ten years before. Another man in his fifties was visiting his son. I was impressed by the number of flowers and the people that chose to remember the fighters buried there. I was sadly disappointed by the number of untouched markers. A line on my grandfather's headstone reassures that he will be remembered. Why couldn't it be fulfilled for all the other lives on that hill?

After placing our flowers on Grandpa's grave, we looked up to see my grandma with my uncle Todd from Seattle. Nothing had been planned. All of us just came at the same time. It was wonderful. We remembered Grandpa and the way that he blessed our lives. We remembered the other soldiers and the hardships they endured. We just came together to honor the life of a man we each love.

Thank you, Grandpa.

Hair color

I've been down at my niece's this weekend and she decided to color her friend's hair. I'd never had that experience of being at your friend's house, dying each other's hair--something I'd enviously watched my brother's girlfriend do. Pretty soon I was thinking it might be fun to dye mine, too. Bad idea.

We bought a medium, bronze brown that was only slightly darker than my natural color for me and a darker color for her friend. Apparently I let it sit too long because when I washed it out, it was so dark that I thought it was black. My niece loves the color. It's a really dark brown with reddish highlights, kind of like this picture:

I admit that the color is kind of nice, but on me?! No. I look totally washed out. I keep playing with my hair, thinking it's a wig and that that I can just take it off. Luckily, it's temporary rather than permanent, but still, that's a month in this hair!

Cures

Okay, so the symptoms of this virus that I have contracted drove me to an urgent care facility today. I was going crazy so they gave me this concoction called "Magic Mouthwash." Creative, huh. Well it has succeded in numbing my sore throat, but it was unable to distinguish exactly where the numbing was needed so my lips and tongue are also numbed! How frustrating. It's like the novocaine man went crazy!

It's going around

Okay, I would like to have this explained to me: How come I stay healthy an entire year at college (with a mono-infected roommate) and really don't get sick, but I come home and lose my voice within a week?! I can't remember the last time I actually lost my voice, if ever. This is ridiculous.

Oregon Coast and Photography

I love the Oregon Coast! There is so much power and energy in the ocean. My favorite time to visit is winter. The waves are their grandest then. The best way to experience it is when it's raining. Go and stand out on the beach in the rain just past the water line (preferably with quiet company) and just watch until your cheeks turn cold (it won't take long). Of course, doing this puts your person at risk of being hit by a sneaker wave (been there, done that, don't want to do it again). It's a coin toss with safety on the heavier side, but there is still a chance of tails.

Doesn't this picture look like the sky is on the ground? Try looking at it upside down. Trippy.

Then there are a few Utah pictures I wanted to share. Utah is just weird in my opinion and these prove it.

Playing Games

Why is it that among adults, kids favorite activity is being hung upside down? As soon as I reached for Connor or Isaac to turn them upside down, they went into hysterics! Then when I set them down on their feet, they begged me to "do it again!" The best part is when they say, "Do it again, Lexie!" my name sounds more like "le-th-ie" or "seh-see" than the "lex-ie" of adult speech. Who needs grownup language anyway? Hmm (pointed question accompanied by raised eyebrows)?

On Sunday, we stopped by Connor and Riley's house to pick up a computer game that wasn't functioning. Dad took care of that, but in the mean time, Connor, in his broken speech, asked me to play with him. I don't know what Heavenly Father was doing when he gave that little boy such eyes. That child could get anyone to do anything. Anyways, he looked at me and handed me his Hulk and asked me to play. What could I do? The Hulk roared and Connor giggled as he hid Spiderman behind his back.

At Isaac's house latter that night I had a real struggle. Isaac really wanted to play, and I wanted to wrestle with him, but it was bed time. I had the darndest time balancing play with not getting Isaac wound up. I just felt bad every time his parents scolded him for being too loud when it was my fault for getting him excited. Finally he discovered that if he pinched my nose, my voice would sound really funny. That's fine if it isn't your nose getting pinched. He also brought out his back scratcher to proudly show off. Then he had to demonstrate for every one in the room. That's fine if you aren't terribly ticklish. He thought I was really funny. That's two reallys in one visit.

Not to make this a catalogue, but I have to mention Alex, the ten-year-old. His family came over for dinner earlier on Sunday. Alex walked in the door, and I demanded a hug, which I was given. I think he was trying to be a little bit "tuff," but as I let him go and turn away, I told him that I'd really missed him. Alex got the sweetest smile on his face. That boy is one in a million.